Value

"Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it." -- M. Scott Peck

I hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I spent 30 minutes waiting in line to get into the Diebenkorn/Matisse exhibition at SF MOMA yesterday. The paintings were beautiful, but my husband and I agreed that its presentation could be more effective with a bit of creative design--our favorite subject. Instead of the straight chronological presentation they could put the most popular and coherent abstract paintings by Diebenkorn at the beginning and work backward toward his earlier paintings where Matisse's influence was apparent and remained so throughout Diebenkorn's artistic life. You can observe what people value when they consistently show up in their words and actions. Diebenkorn valued Matisse's artistic achievement. He spent his lifetime improving on that achievement and manifesting something uniquely his own--hundreds of the Ocean Park painting series--my husband's favorite.

I have an aversion to wasting time. Waiting around used to offend me. Now I use the time to observe my surrounding. Sometime it's the unplanned time in between the intended activities that are most memorable. A memorable experience is a valuable experience because the mind and body remember it. Joe Spenza states in his book, Evolve Your Brain, "Knowledge without experience is philosophy. Experience without knowledge is ignorance. The interplay between the two produces wisdom". Memory is learning and learning is adapting. It's not enough to learn semantically. To live is to experience. To experience is to feel somatically. I regularly remind the yoga trainees that they aren't learning how to teach yoga until they teach yoga. Those who want to learn but don't want to teach aren't learning how to teach. Adaptation is flexibility. It requires our capacity to change and be changed by our experiences.

Sometime learning is about unlearning. I've unlearned the rejection of the waiting experience and learned to embrace it and all my experiences. As an adult who can choose to respond to a given condition nobody can be blamed for the actions I have taken, ever. Intentions mean nothing if not expressed through actions. Knowledge and experience--semantic and somatic complete the learning. An experience can change us and we can change our experiences. As long as there is this time and this breath I'm never out of creative ideas. Bringing them into manifestation is the practice. The inner critique is loud and divided. She sees my experiences through judgement and comparison. The conscience is quiet and connected to the consciousness that manifests all things. To connect to my values I connect to my conscience  and let its conscious breath guide my action. Time is the greatest investment. Ultimately, whatever we end up doing are the things we truly value.